Why is Pornography so Intoxicating?!
Can someone actually become addicted to pornography?
I’m sure you’ve heard it said that pornography and sex are like drugs. Repeat that sentiment over and over again and you’ll start to believe it’s the same chemistry- but is it really? Or are we lying to ourselves about what’s really going on in the brain when it’s high on lust?
😉(Good one, right?! HIGH on LUST!)
Have you seen this famous ad from the 1980s, “Your Brain on Drugs” showing how the brain gets fried from substance abuse?
Although it’s a compelling visual, it’s not exactly what happens when someone engages in pleasure-seeking behaviour or abuses substances. What actually happens, depending on the drug, is an increase in dopamine levels that train and rewire the brain’s reward system to seek out more stimulants.
From cigarettes to heroin, it’s all about the reward. This training can even alter the brain’s wavelengths permanently. As much as we want to believe the brains of our loved ones are fried (because they often behave like they don’t have one!), in truth they’re being reeducated.
The most common advice for addiction is, “They need to hit their rock bottom.” Based on what we know about the reward system, what’s really happening is the brain is being rewired (again) because the reward for the addiction is no longer there. The indulgences have become difficult and un-pleasurable, so they stop. Maybe 🙃.
It’s easy to understand why the chemicals in drugs designed to relax us, take away the suffering of ailments, correct the brain’s chemistry, make us see rainbows and colours as we drift into painlessness, or have side-effects of euphoric giggling would become addictive, but what about pornography?
Before we continue, I had better clarify something; I believe addiction as a disease is irrelevant when it comes to talking about the solution. I believe addiction is real, but I also believe it is a neurobiological issue for some, a bad habit for others, and a sin problem for everyone.
The Bible is very clear on how we are to address sins of lust, drunkenness, and idolatry, but it’s also clear on how God views illness. In my experience, I have met few people who have a desire to get better but continue to struggle with addiction and do not also have another kind of neurobiological issue. If it wasn’t initially hereditary, it came from some form of physical, mental, or emotional trauma.
Knowing all this, how should we as Christians address sexual addiction? Unlike cocaine, for example, which increases the amount of dopamine the brain receives, pornography is not a chemical one ingests into the body.
Scientists have not come to an agreement as of yet on whether sex and pornography addictions are in the same classification as drug or alcohol addictions, but there is a lot of evidence to show the resulting behaviours are similar.
"Although not included in DSM-5, compulsive sexual behavior (CSB) can be diagnosed in ICD-10 as an impulse control disorder. However, debate exists about CSB’s classification. Additional research is needed to understand how neurobiological features relate to clinically relevant measures like treatment outcomes for CSB. Classifying CSB as a ‘behavioral addiction’ would have significant implications for policy, prevention and treatment efforts….. Given some similarities between CSB and drug addictions, interventions effective for addictions may hold promise for CSB, thus providing insight into future research directions to investigate this possibility directly.”
On a personal level, I am not a scientist so I don’t know what I necessarily believe about the neurological findings, but I lean toward thinking troubles with pornography and sexual rendezvous are more akin to phone or video game “addictions,” but way, way, worse.
We also know that some people are more prone to compulsions than others. Just like my husband (who manages a neurobiological issue) has a more difficult time disconnecting from work than I do, or how one of my children can stay glued to Minecraft for hours while the other would prefer to go outside and ride his bike. When my husband and Minecraft child go on vacation, it takes them longer to decompress than myself and my other son. They’re bored. They don’t know what to do with their time. They’re used to being stimulated! Sex is the ultimate stimulant and some people have a harder time managing their genital urges 🤪 than others.
Explains post-pornography erectile dysfunction, doesn’t it?
Why is Sexual Addiction Such a Big Deal?
Sex is very important to God. It’s the only thing God gave us to populate the earth, He said it was to be shared between husband and wife and even says that when men and women give up their “natural urges” they will be punished with death (Lev. 20:13) and eternal damnation (Jude 1:7) for their “corrupt minds” (Rom. 1:28).
I believe it means “death in the flesh” not physical death, which is good because I love my gay friends dearly! I can only hope they will try their best to follow God’s will for them (as with the rest of us in all our depravities) because He doesn’t want to see anyone turn from Him. I think it makes Him very sad.
“The men in the same way also left natural relations with women and were inflamed in their lust for one another. Men committed shameless acts with men and received in their own persons the appropriate penalty of their error.”
-Romans 1:27
Considering the social, emotional, psychological, spiritual, and eternal effects of sexual promiscuity, there has to be more to the story than what’s going on in the brain.
The porn issue goes much deeper than science.
Ask 100 wives of addicts (I have!) and they’ll respond with a blanket response that sexual addictions are worse than substance addictions because they’re more painful, destructive, and harder to heal the marriage from.
From the female perspective, when a husband struggles with an addiction to a substance we know it’s a physical or psychological issue- it’s not us. But sex? That’s personal. More than that, it’s insulting. Offensive. Adulterous.
I’m going to talk about sexual indulgence in a marital sense because most of my readers are married, but know that what I’m saying also applies to you if you are single.
The sanctification of sex and marriage is unlike anything in the universe. If you look at the animal kingdom, humans are one of the few animals who mate for life.
“…monogamy is rare in the animal kingdom at large. Of the roughly 5,000 species of mammals, only 3 to 5 percent are known to form lifelong pair bonds. This select group includes beavers, otters, wolves, some bats and foxes and a few hoofed animals.
And even the creatures that do pair and mate for life occasionally have flings on the side and some, like the wolf, waste little time finding a new mate if their old one dies or can no longer sexually perform.”
Of the species who are monogamous, many are only socially faithful, they still have flings on the side. Let’s look at the animal kingdom a little deeper:
“Staying faithful can be a struggle for most animals. For one, males are hardwired to spread their genes and females try to seek the best dad for their young. Also, monogamy is costly because it requires an individual to place their entire reproductive investment on the fitness of their mate. Putting all their eggs in one basket means there’s a lot of pressure on each animal to pick the perfect mate, which, as humans knows, can be tricky.”
Males are “hardwired” to spread their genes. This is why sexual addictions, child pornography, John’s buying prostitutes, rape accusations, infidelity and the like, are more often a male issue.
Women are subconsciously “seeking the best dad for their young.” Even the strongest, most independent feminists are still inherently female. Can’t fight biology! With men prone to spreading their seed, it totally explains why some females decide another female will make the best “father” for their children, right?! 😂
Bad joke, please don’t hate me 😬.
Are We Hardwired for Monogamy?
What if monogamy is not our natural instinct but a social norm we abide by based on religious principle, general conformity and fear of repercussion in the form of say, eternal damnation?
I think there STILL has to be more to the story.
Let’s look at why we mate.
Have you ever studied the science of attraction? Did you know that people whose faces are more symmetrical are considered more attractive? You might have if you watched that dating show where they measured people’s face symmetry (tell me in the comments if you know what it is because it’s driving me nuts trying to remember!) But here’s a video explaining what I mean.
Don’t look into the mirror now and figure out how symmetrical your face is! Thanks to Sarah Jessica Parker, being quirky is always the most fabulous.
Facial symmetry is about much more than just attractiveness; it’s determined in the womb and gives us biological indicators of health that we choose to accept or reject unconsciously!
“Starting at conception, the human body develops by neatly splitting cells. If every division were to go perfectly, the result would be a baby whose left and right sides are mirror images. But nature doesn't work that way. Genetic mutations and environmental pressures skew symmetry, and the results have lifelong implications. Good symmetry shows that an individual has the genetic goods to survive development, is healthy, and is a good and fertile choice for mating.” [Source]
This same article also says that men with higher facial symmetry have more sex partners than males with a lower balance. Is this because women find them more attractive? Maybe. It also could be because these men statistically have higher testosterone levels and, therefore, higher sex drives. [Source]
Which leads me to wonder if the majority of men and women who find sex and pornography so intoxicating are responding to their unique, individual biology? If so, those who are more prone to addictive behaviours would be training their brains to react to dopamine-flooding sexual stimuli satisfying both their biological identity and brain reeducation.
But Wait, Aren’t Sexual Relations Healthy?
Both Christian and non-Christians are finding their bodies have negative physical responses to impersonal sexual stimuli like erectile dysfunction, fatigue, anxiety, lack of motivation [Source]. Going back to biology, because there’s something about sexuality that is animalistic, could it be because it subconsciously doesn’t make them stronger mates?
The one thing that’s missing from pornography or habitual sexual relations is the oxytocin bond, the love hormone, which connects us to our mates. This may also explain how monogamy is possible when it seems unnatural and why your dog loves you more than your cat. ⬅️Yeah, that’s right.
“Oxytocin was found to affect the pleasure systems of the brain mainly in the monogamous voles. Indeed, it was as though the chemical wired their brains to associate their mate — and only that particular mate — with pleasure. It “addicted” the partners to each other, and made the release of other soothing chemicals like endorphins (the brain’s own opioids) contingent in part on their partner’s presence.” [Source]
In other words, even though watching someone else have sex can get us all hot and bothered, without a monogamous partner, our brains miss out on the oxytocin bond, which is the one thing we need to continue in a healthy, sexual relationship with a spouse.
“‘In another series of tests, the researchers tested whether oxytocin enhances the activation of the reward system only when seeing the partner or whether there is a similar effect with pictures of acquaintances and female work colleagues of many years. The activation of the reward system with the aid of oxytocin had a very selective effect with the pictures of the partners,’ says psychologist Dirk Scheele. ‘We did not detect this effect with pictures of longstanding acquaintances.’ Based on these results, therefore, simple familiarity is not enough to stimulate the bonding effect. They have to be loving couples; of that the scientists are convinced.’” [Source]
So what’s so intoxicating about pornography? The simple answer is everything.
Humans are hardwired for sexual relations! It’s enticing, attractive, addictive, desirable and passionate on an intuitive level.
God created us to be attracted to symmetrical mates with biological qualities for childbirth for human survival. But, He also formed our biology, so sex alone would always fall short.
God has his science-defying secret weapon- love. He made the chemicals in our bodies to behave in such a fantastic way that oxytocin only bonds with someone when we are in love, and therefore creates a mutually loving, exclusively satisfying, and ever increasingly-beneficial response to our brain’s reward system.
Meanwhile, pornography, sexual addiction, and sexual experiences outside of love hurt us by challenging God’s design for creation, isolating us, and can even have negative physical responses that can hurt reproduction. [Source]
Essentially, pervasive sexual relations kill love and everything it stands for, which is why Satan uses it so frequently.
If you’re struggling with pornography or sex addiction, don’t feel ashamed! Share your story and let someone know you need help. The devil wants you to feel alone (more alone?!), but God is waiting for His children (you!) to come to Him.
Believing in God won’t get rid of temptation or change your habits. Giving your life to Christ is not a miracle-activator, but it’s the first step in a new life. The Bible says all who are in Christ are born again. The old has gone, and the new has come (2 Cor. 5:17), so change will be inevitable!
In Christ, we can be forgiven and accept grace for pornography, lust, sexual addiction, drug addiction, alcoholism, compulsive gambling and all other biological, neurological, bioneurowhateverical sin.
“For everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.” Romans 10:13
What about God is so intoxicating? Love. The only thing the devil will never have.