I never wanted to be some addiction guru; hair guru is more like it. You want to know what cut is going to flatter your face shape? I’m your girl. You want to know what to do at 3 a.m. when your husband hasn’t answered the phone and took $300 out of your joint account? No, thank you.
But there I was, talking about addiction while my husband went to rehab. Again. I applied for jobs for four months. Like, all the jobs. Even Tim Hortons.
That’s a lie. I didn’t apply anywhere with a button uniform. I have Koumpounophobia, an irrational fear of buttons. Yes, it’s real. Steve Jobs has it, too.
After being gracefully “let go” from my stylist position (where I worked for free on commission) and applying for all the buttonless low-wage jobs I could find, I finally submitted to defeat… and started a blog. Surely, blogging would help bring in some income. I could inspire people! But underneath it all, what I wanted was to find someone else like me; An average girl with an impossibly average life who found herself in a mess far beyond her control.
Nine years and 500,000 readers later, I found a few.
On my blog, I wrote what I wished someone would say to me:
“Hey, I see you sitting in church when you show up alone,”
“I see you at the grocery store with your face all red at the checkout as you try to pay with your other card.”
“I hear you in the doctor’s office as you check to see if he gave you an STD this time.”
“I know you want your relationship to work out. I understand that no one gets that.”
“I see you lugging 20lb rocks across the yard and building an epic patio on your own.” (Yeah, I really did that!)
I will forever be grateful for the community of women God sent my way. Their trust grounded me; They gave me a reason to get up in the morning. I wouldn’t be who I am today if it was not for the women who crossed my path over the years.
I might have helped them. I might have been some vessel that God used. But the truth is, God used them to save my life. And I will be forever changed.
Leah Grey
LEAH GREY is an award-winning author, blogger, and the founder of Grey Ministries.
Her debut novel, No One Brings You a Casserole When Your Husband Goes to Rehab, made the Amazon #1 best-seller list in it’s first week of release. Leah’s online courses on boundaries and addiction blogs have reached over 500,000 women since its start in 2014.
Leah’s online support group, Habit, supports partners of people who struggle with addiction with faith-based advice, courses on boundaries, and by building sustaining, long-lasting lifelines through a global family.
Leah lives in Port Dover, ON, with her three children, where she works as a freelance copywriter (under her real name!) and brand director for a fashion and home line, Hayati (alter-ego yet to be determined).
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Leah Grey was still in her twenties when her life fell apart. She couldn’t decide what was more depressing- the state of her marriage, or the fact that she lived in Jersey City instead of Manhattan.
In her debut book, No One Brings You a Casserole When Your Husband Goes to Rehab, is a poignant, coming-of-age story about curly-haired boys and the dark side of having your dreams come true.
