I’m sure you’ve heard it said that pornography and sex are like drugs. Repeat that sentiment over and over again and you’ll start to believe it’s the same chemistry- but is it really? Or are we lying to ourselves about what's really going on in the brain when it’s high on lust?
Read MoreWe all know that Valentine’s Day can spark some intense emotions. Some people don’t care at all while others feel deeply saddened and alone. We also know it’s possible to feel alone on Valentine’s Day while married!
In recovery, we are not always feeling romantic. Romantic lovey-dovey feelings can only flourish in a relationship that has trust.
If you are feeling super lovey-dovey but you don’t trust your loved one, might be time to check your feelings! That’s a good indication you’ve gone gaga over someone underserving of your love and attention. That’s not to say they couldn’t be one day, but right now they are not.
Read MoreIf you’re watching pornography behind your wife, fiancee or girlfriend’s back because it would hurt her to know what you’re doing- it’s a problem.
Blame it on growing up modestly (ahem, Mennonite country), I could go on for days about my issues with our overly-sexualized culture and how it impacts our relationships, children and self-esteem, but I won’t go into it here. What matters is the effect pornography has on some wives. If porn has negatively impacted your relationship, I’ve got some suggestions to "fix" it.
Read MoreThe trouble with addiction is the people who have them are good people. Hurting maybe, but often, still good. At the very least, they’re human beings that we care about or have a history with.
In my experience, those who struggle with addiction are not normally what the media portrays. Yes, there are many people who seem to have walked off the television show, “Intervention” (or need to go on it!) but not all are like that. When it comes to decision-making and laying down boundaries, I always felt like the families of the "severely addicted" had it easy because it's so blatantly obvious their loved one needs to go to treatment. If they won’t go, then they need to be left alone to hit their rock bottom.
As difficult as the process still is, the struggle is clear for all to see.
Read More“So I read this thing the other day…”
“Oh, really?”
“Yeah. It was about marriage and it sounded like ours.”
“Mm-hmm.” (eye roll)
“Don’t roll your eyes. It said there are men who avoid intimacy. Intimate conversations, intimate moments, everything to do with intimacy.”
“What? I don’t avoid intimacy, you sexy thing.”
“Sex is a surface thing, that doesn’t count.”
“Hm. Well, I think so. Yes, it’s a surface thing, I guess…” (not listening)
“Gah. Never mind.”
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