Posts tagged married to a drug addict
Addiction and the Average Girl

I fell into a marriage with addiction, by fall, I mean, fell head over heels. I didn't want to live a perfect life, and I loved the party. I have always found going to a bar to be more enjoyable than Bible study. When I was first introduced to drugs, I thought they were fantastic. Aside from the fact that my parents were going to kill me, for the first time in my life, I wasn't shrouded in insecurity. The alternative crowd, the everything-in-moderation mentality, the excitement of the rave- it made me feel like I could be myself; darkness and all. 

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"Why Would You Do That?" And Other Questions About Drugs

1 in 3 Americans Will Have a Friend Die From a Drug Overdose

This statistic comes from a recent study done by American Addiction Centers. Among the other findings of this survey, they concluded that Millennials are most affected by these deaths, that 44% of those surveyed said the victim they knew was perceived to have a vibrant social life, and that those with vibrant social lives were less likely to be predicted to fatally overdose.

When I first read the statistic that 1 in 3 Americans know someone who has passed from an overdose, I was skeptical. Could that really be true? The opioid crisis is certainly a big deal, and the chickens are coming home to roost with Purdue Pharma now allegedly considering bankruptcy due to the lawsuits against them. But could a third of everyday Americans really know someone who has died from an overdose? 

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"But, what if they don't?". One Relationship Survival Skill You Have to Have if Your Loved One Doesn't Find Healing

In my marriage, there have been many ups and downs. I'd love to say there have been more ups than downs but I feel like that may be a lie. But it's not like I have been feeling bad for all these years!

Do you know what I mean?

In addiction circles, they call this, “practicing detachment” which essentially means we aren’t allowing the decisions and actions of others to affect our mood, thoughts and feelings. 

I teach a lesson on detachment in my eCourse on how to make good, Godly boundaries. The course, 'UnBound Me', is currently being updated and will be relaunched later in 2018 but today, I’d like to talk more in-depth about detachment.

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When is the Right Time to Divorce an Addict?

The trouble with addiction is the people who have them are good people. Hurting maybe, but often, still good. At the very least, they’re human beings that we care about or have a history with. 

In my experience, those who struggle with addiction are not normally what the media portrays. Yes, there are many people who seem to have walked off the television show, “Intervention” (or need to go on it!) but not all are like that. When it comes to decision-making and laying down boundaries, I always felt like the families of the "severely addicted" had it easy because it's so blatantly obvious their loved one needs to go to treatment. If they won’t go, then they need to be left alone to hit their rock bottom.

As difficult as the process still is, the struggle is clear for all to see. 

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Want to Know What My Most Important Boundaries Are? Here's One!

Have you ever broken a boundary- with yourself? 

Tell me if this sounds like you, 

“Okay... today, I’m going to be awesome! I’m going to wake up early, eat something healthier than cereal, do my hair real nice, exercise, be a successful human being and rock my life”. 

And then morning comes. And your bed feels so nice. The covers are warm, you bring out an arm from your nestled cove and the air is cold! Zip! Retreat! 

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Dear Freckles: I Miss the Simple Things

As you know, once a month I've been posting an excerpt from my personal journals in The Grey Diaries to show you my journey from where I was to where I am today. Though the story I've been sharing with you is mine, it is largely also my husband's. I've tried to be respectful of his story as it's not my place to tell it but in order to give you a true picture of how God's love can change a life, he has graciously allowed me to share his letters to me, with you.

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My Loved One Has an Addiction, What Can I Do?

This is a question I hear often but has a very complicated answer. While the definition of addiction is the same across the board and the behaviours for each type of addiction come out, in the same manner, the actual addiction itself does need to be treated differently. So I’m going to say, it depends on what your loved one is addicted to. 

I’m going to split this into the “big four” addictions. Some of these, I have up-close and personal experience with while others I do not, so if you’re the spouse of said addiction and you’re like, “Ummm, Leah, that’s whack advice!” I'm so sorry, that’s totally okay by me.

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How to Deal With Guilt and Shame as the Parent of an Addict

When I reached this point in my story I looked up and sitting directly across from me was a lady whose eyes I could see, were filling with tears. I spoke to her directly and said, "This is the toughest part isn't it?" and she nodded.

This is the point in my story where I talk about the guilt. This was the hardest hurdle for me to get over.

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God Gave Us a Spirit of Power, Love and Sound Mind (So, why am I freaking out?!)

"You're not listening to me!” 

“No, you don’t understand.”

“Can you put yourself in my shoes for just three [Un-Christian word] seconds?!”

“Ah! Never mind! I don’t even know why I try explaining to you, it’s useless!”

These are the things I find myself saying to my husband over and over again. As he fumbles and bumbles and tries to understand my range of complex emotions stemming from childhood wounds to the scars from our relationship to the present situation. He doesn’t know what to say and I know it.

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Top Five Books to Change Your Thinking While In a Crisis

When you have a loved one struggling with an addiction it can be really tough to find the right resources. There's a lot out there! Over the years, I've received both good and bad advice but every time I looked for help, the best advice usually found in books. That could be because I'm more comfortable reading a book than talking to a human being but with young kids, it can tough to find time to read! 

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You Can Love Your Child and Hate Their Substance Abuse

Blonde hair, blue eyes and a wealth of talent. She was my first born; Beautiful, funny, smart and excelled at anything she put her mind to from track and field, dance and figure skating. She had a beautiful voice and sang like an angel. She had the drive and determination of an Olympic athlete. She could have done anything she wanted but ended up doing none of the things she dreamed of because deep inside her lived a little girl who felt unworthy.

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