Posts tagged Married to an addict abuser

Don't Ignore the Elephant in the Room… Addiction Can Become an Abusive Situation- Fast!

It’s hard to love someone who hurts us over and over again; addicts hurt people.

When my husband was in active addiction, he made me feel like I was losing my mind. My intuition would kick in, and I’d sense something wasn’t right. I would ask him about it and he would turn it back onto me. Accusing me of, “Focusing on the negative” or give some overly-detailed, incredible story to explain the situation. As it turns out, most of the time my intuition was spot on! I had not let my imagination get the best of me. My husband was gaslighting me, one of many types of psychological abuse.

Family, AbuseKara BenefieldMay 29, 2018Grey Ministriesabuse escalating in marriage, Married to an addict abuser, What kind of abuse is it?, know the signs of psychological abuse, boundaries with a spouse, gaslighting Comment

"But, what if they don't?". One Relationship Survival Skill You Have to Have if Your Loved One Doesn't Find Healing

In my marriage, there have been many ups and downs. I'd love to say there have been more ups than downs but I feel like that may be a lie. But it's not like I have been feeling bad for all these years!

Do you know what I mean?

In addiction circles, they call this, “practicing detachment” which essentially means we aren’t allowing the decisions and actions of others to affect our mood, thoughts and feelings.

I teach a lesson on detachment in my eCourse on how to make good, Godly boundaries. The course, 'UnBound Me', is currently being updated and will be relaunched later in 2018 but today, I’d like to talk more in-depth about detachment.

Six Signs the Abuse in Your Marriage is Escalating

One of the real dangers of staying in an abusive marriage is that abuse generally escalates. Boundaries are nudged, pushed, and eventually outright challenged so that you find yourself submitting to abuse that would once be unthinkable. Humans acclimate to a wide variety of situations, but in an abusive marriage, this adaptability comes eventually at a severe cost. The first time I truly realized I was in an abusive marriage was about nine years into the marriage. Before I used the word ‘abusive’, I generally used the word ‘controlling’. No one likes to face the fact that they are abused.

Mental Health, AbuseAlice MillsAugust 20, 2017Grey Ministriesnarcissist, can i divorce a narcissist, broken and afraid from narcissist, God and narcissism, Jesus and narcissism, christian married to a narcissist, difference between narcissism and emotional abuse, how do I know my spouse is a narcissist, married to a narcissist, six signs the abuse in your marriage is getting worse, abuse escalating in marriage, Married to an addict abuser, stuck in an abusive marriage, think im married to a narcissist, Can abuse be healed by faith, can a narcissist stop being a narcissist, signs you need to leave your marriage, signs your marriage is too abusive to repair, unknown signs of abuse, uncommon signs of emotional abuse, emotional manipulation, know the signs of emotional manipulation, healing from abusive relationship, can my abusive relationship change?, can you get out of an abusive marriage if you're a Christian, What kind of abuse is it? Comments

What Kind of Abuse is it? Five Traits of a Narcissist

While it is tempting to equate all kinds of abuse as pretty much the same, narcissistic abuse has a few characteristics outside the boundaries of emotional abuse. Obviously narcissistic abusers are emotionally abusive, but the goals of a narcissist are significantly different from those of a person who is emotionally abusive. Knowing the difference is helpful. Narcissistic abuse requires a different approach to recovery, though the healing path from any kind of abuse is difficult.

Marriage, Mental Health, AbuseAlice MillsJuly 9, 2017Grey Ministriesnarcissist, can i divorce a narcissist, know the signs of emotional manipulation, God and narcissism, broken and afraid from narcissist, Jesus and narcissism, christian married to a narcissist, married to a narcissist, emotional manipulation, family members of addicts, PTSD from emotional abuse, abused, Married to an addict abuser, can my abusive relationship change?, Can abuse be healed by faith, What does God think about abusive marriages, God and abuse in relationships, difference between narcissism and emotional abuse, five key personality traits of a narcissist, What kind of abuse is it?, escape from an abusive realtionship, can you get out of an abusive marriage if you're a Christian, how do I know my spouse is a narcissist, married to an addict, married to an addict in recovery, married to a porn addict, marriage feels one-sided, married to a bachelor, being married to an addict, abandonment in marriage, Help for an abusive marriage Comments

The Day God Set Me Free from My Marriage

It was my fear of divorce that kept me from escaping a narcissistic abuser for fourteen years. Now, seventeen years out from that disaster, my regrets center around not leaving far earlier. I lived in a lot of denial for years. One has to cultivate denial in order to survive, much less stay, in a marriage that was as abusive as mine.