I fell into a marriage with addiction, by fall, I mean, fell head over heels. I didn't want to live a perfect life, and I loved the party. I have always found going to a bar to be more enjoyable than Bible study. When I was first introduced to drugs, I thought they were fantastic. Aside from the fact that my parents were going to kill me, for the first time in my life, I wasn't shrouded in insecurity. The alternative crowd, the everything-in-moderation mentality, the excitement of the rave- it made me feel like I could be myself; darkness and all.

Understanding Addiction, Faith, LifestyleLeahMay 10, 2020Grey Ministriesaddiction support community for wives, Shame over being divorced as a Christian woman, married to an addict, married to an alcoholic, married to an addict in recovery, married to a sex addict, married to a drug addict, Christmas married to an addict, Christian approach to handling an abusive relationship, christians and substance abuse, christian wife of an addict blogComment

Promising Tips For Healing Your Heart

The storms we go through change us. They’re supposed to. Our exterior may or may not remain the same, but our interior will undoubtedly shift. While change is imminent, it’s the condition of our heart that determines HOW the storm changes us.

Faith, WaitingKara BenefieldMay 2, 2019Grey Ministriestools to help with healing from post traumatic stress disorder, married to an addict in recovery, marriage, marriage feels one-sided, Christian approach to handling an abusive relationship, encouragement for christian womenComment

One Woman's Inspiring Testimony of Addiction Recovery

From heroin addiction to sharing her story of transformation on CBN, Mariah is truly an inspiration!

Faith, Understanding AddictionLeahApril 25, 2019Grey MinistriesAdvice for Christian women married to addicts, married to a drug addict, married to a porn addict, married to an addict in recovery, married to an addict, support group for Christian wives of addictsComment

How to Find Hope and Healing on the Recovery Roller Coaster

The recovery process is a rollercoaster.

There’s an expectation that when the addiction stops, so do the issues. Now that the dreaded addiction is gone, your life can go back to normal. The problem is, there is no “normal” anymore. After addiction, your normal is “dysfunctional”. Normal is “messy”. Normal is “chaos”. Normal is “fighting”. Normal is “tension”. Normal is “mistrusting”. Normal is “out of control”.

Is it possible for life to be normal after addiction?

FamilyLeahMarch 18, 2019Grey Ministriesmarried to an addict in recovery, family members of addicts, married to an addict, books videos bible studies for wives of addictsComment

"But, what if they don't?". One Relationship Survival Skill You Have to Have if Your Loved One Doesn't Find Healing

In my marriage, there have been many ups and downs. I'd love to say there have been more ups than downs but I feel like that may be a lie. But it's not like I have been feeling bad for all these years!

Do you know what I mean?

In addiction circles, they call this, “practicing detachment” which essentially means we aren’t allowing the decisions and actions of others to affect our mood, thoughts and feelings.

I teach a lesson on detachment in my eCourse on how to make good, Godly boundaries. The course, 'UnBound Me', is currently being updated and will be relaunched later in 2018 but today, I’d like to talk more in-depth about detachment.

Hygge, Minimalism and the Art of Letting Go

For quite a few years now, I have been learning more and more about minimalism. I’ll preempt this by saying that I’m not a true minimalist by any means however I’m also not a huge consumer and have no problem getting rid of what I, or my family, doesn’t need.

My journey of “letting go” began with clothing long before minimalism was a “thing”.

Mental HealthLeahJanuary 7, 2018Grey Ministriesminimalism, hygge, principles of hygge, how to hygge, lifestyle changes to manage emotions, how to make boundaries as the wife of an addict, Married to an Addict, married to an addict in recovery Comments

When is the Right Time to Divorce an Addict?

The trouble with addiction is the people who have them are good people. Hurting maybe, but often, still good. At the very least, they’re human beings that we care about or have a history with.

In my experience, those who struggle with addiction are not normally what the media portrays. Yes, there are many people who seem to have walked off the television show, “Intervention” (or need to go on it!) but not all are like that. When it comes to decision-making and laying down boundaries, I always felt like the families of the "severely addicted" had it easy because it's so blatantly obvious their loved one needs to go to treatment. If they won’t go, then they need to be left alone to hit their rock bottom.

As difficult as the process still is, the struggle is clear for all to see.

What Kind of Abuse is it? Five Traits of a Narcissist

While it is tempting to equate all kinds of abuse as pretty much the same, narcissistic abuse has a few characteristics outside the boundaries of emotional abuse. Obviously narcissistic abusers are emotionally abusive, but the goals of a narcissist are significantly different from those of a person who is emotionally abusive. Knowing the difference is helpful. Narcissistic abuse requires a different approach to recovery, though the healing path from any kind of abuse is difficult.

Marriage, Mental Health, AbuseAlice MillsJuly 9, 2017Grey Ministriesnarcissist, can i divorce a narcissist, know the signs of emotional manipulation, God and narcissism, broken and afraid from narcissist, Jesus and narcissism, christian married to a narcissist, married to a narcissist, emotional manipulation, family members of addicts, PTSD from emotional abuse, abused, Married to an addict abuser, can my abusive relationship change?, Can abuse be healed by faith, What does God think about abusive marriages, God and abuse in relationships, difference between narcissism and emotional abuse, five key personality traits of a narcissist, What kind of abuse is it?, escape from an abusive realtionship, can you get out of an abusive marriage if you're a Christian, how do I know my spouse is a narcissist, married to an addict, married to an addict in recovery, married to a porn addict, marriage feels one-sided, married to a bachelor, being married to an addict, abandonment in marriage, Help for an abusive marriage Comments

Want to Know What My Most Important Boundaries Are? Here's One!

Have you ever broken a boundary- with yourself?

Tell me if this sounds like you,

“Okay... today, I’m going to be awesome! I’m going to wake up early, eat something healthier than cereal, do my hair real nice, exercise, be a successful human being and rock my life”.

And then morning comes. And your bed feels so nice. The covers are warm, you bring out an arm from your nestled cove and the air is cold! Zip! Retreat!

Dear Freckles: I Miss the Simple Things

As you know, once a month I've been posting an excerpt from my personal journals in The Grey Diaries to show you my journey from where I was to where I am today. Though the story I've been sharing with you is mine, it is largely also my husband's. I've tried to be respectful of his story as it's not my place to tell it but in order to give you a true picture of how God's love can change a life, he has graciously allowed me to share his letters to me, with you.

My Loved One Has an Addiction, What Can I Do?

This is a question I hear often but has a very complicated answer. While the definition of addiction is the same across the board and the behaviours for each type of addiction come out, in the same manner, the actual addiction itself does need to be treated differently. So I’m going to say, it depends on what your loved one is addicted to.

I’m going to split this into the “big four” addictions. Some of these, I have up-close and personal experience with while others I do not, so if you’re the spouse of said addiction and you’re like, “Ummm, Leah, that’s whack advice!” I'm so sorry, that’s totally okay by me.

How to Deal With Guilt and Shame as the Parent of an Addict

When I reached this point in my story I looked up and sitting directly across from me was a lady whose eyes I could see, were filling with tears. I spoke to her directly and said, "This is the toughest part isn't it?" and she nodded.

This is the point in my story where I talk about the guilt. This was the hardest hurdle for me to get over.

FamilyJudy TomczakJanuary 17, 2017Grey MinistriesMarried to an Addict, married to an addict in recovery, Anxiety about a spouse's addiction, married to a drug addict, Healing and Recovery for Addicts and their Families, what to do when someone you love has an addiction, christians and substance abuse, new christian bloggers, guilt and shame as the parent of an addict Comments