My husband battled drug addiction, but alcohol has run through the veins of almost every "addict" from the beginning, and I was not exactly "a good child.” You can read the mini-book here, “We're Not Okay: What every parent needs to know in a world full of drugs, drinking and, gasp! Sex.” It’s also available on Amazon if you’d like a hard copy.

In thinking about alcohol, I initially didn’t want to mention addiction because, to be honest, there's plenty that comes far before an addiction. Weakness, solace, depravity, a little fun- whatever you want to call it. And I think it's essential to go back to the beginning because we've gotten carried away with our definition of "addiction" as of late. However, I’m going to address both bad habits and addiction, and absolutely make someone angry, so hang onto your bottles! 

Ehhhhhhh 🇨🇦, a little pun never hurt anyone.

Before I ruffle your feathers, let me qualify my years of uneducation and inexperience:

1. The first time I smoked pot and drank alcohol for fun, I was 12 years old. 

2. I smoked cigarettes on the regular from age 13 to 28.

3. I drank a little, but much preferred to do drugs because I felt more in control.

4. In college, my friend and I thought it was fun to buy a 26er (a US quart, I'm originally Canadian!) of whiskey, sit at the table and drink it shot for shot- until it was gone. I didn’t like that game, but I tried to play along.

5. I had a good little side hustle making fake ID's for awhile.

6. I was not a stranger to the club scene, nor was I a regular.

7. I had so many boyfriends my mother nicknamed me, "Man-eater."

8. I was divorced by age 22.

9. My second husband struggled with drug addiction, but I initially thought he was an alcoholic.

10. I now help women with loved ones who struggled with addiction daily, mainly wives. Often divorcees.

Now that we understand I am not a sheltered Christian spewing ministry judgement from a pulpit, let's begin! 

Abusing alcohol is moral depravity. BAM💥! Just starting it off there.

The definition of depravity is as follows: 

de· prav· i· ty: a corrupt act or practice, the quality or state of being corrupt, evil, or perverted: the quality or state of being depraved [Source]

There were many times I over-drank and my morals sunk to the bottom of the ethical tank, often leading to perversion. The evidence? My oldest, he's now eleven. Oops! He's a gift from my moral depravity. What wasn't a gift was the problematic years I went through with his father, my first husband. I tried to "do the right thing," but as it turns out, getting married simply because you're pregnant is a terrible idea and not the right thing to do; I wouldn't recommend, encourage, or shotgun suggest it. If your kid gets pregnant, don't do that to them. Please. 

It's obvious when someone over-drinks they’ve had too much, but what about when we're walking the moral line? How much is too much?  

In ancient times, there was a custom not to drink alcohol until after the "third hour," which is equal to 8 am to 9 am. [Source] Drinking before those hours qualified one as a drunk, which meant at 9 am, free to booze! Kidding. That’s not what it meant. Some customs waited until noon, much like we do in North America.  

We seem to think we're living in a more corrupt world today than ever before, but I don't agree. Human perversion is magnified by strip clubs and legal prostitution, there are bars on every corner, and the human trafficking trade is moving around the world like never before. Still, we always had prostitution, alcohol abuse, and slavery. It seems to ebb and flow throughout history. It’s safe to presume what was right then is still true today, and developments in science won't change the Word of God. Did the Jewish people know pork would give them cancer? No, only that it was dirty. 

If you’re paying attention to the important things, that’s right- bacon gives you cancer. [Source]

When it comes to alcohol, I'm going to base my opinion on the Word only. This means everything we’ve been learning about addiction out of Alcoholics Anonymous from 1935 [Source] on, I'm about to contradict.

In the Bible, there are plenty of examples of moral depravity and sexuality from excessive alcohol consumption. Noah got drunk and was raped by his son, which led to a cursed family line [Source]. Lot got drunk, his daughters had sex with him without his knowledge, and they both got pregnant [Genesis 19:21]. David committed adultery with Bathsheba, so he got her husband drunk and killed him. I mean, it's pretty bad.  

The alcohol issue has been debated for years, even though it's clear as night and day in the Bible that it isn't the consumption of alcohol that is the issue, it's inebriation.

Jesus didn't get trashed. No-alcohol advocates like to ignore the fact that Jesus drank wine… except that He did. If Jesus did it, how can we now say its a sin?!

Let's stop over-spiritualizing everything and call it for what it is- some people drink too much and don’t know their limits. The Bible tells us exactly what that experience is like: 

"Who is wallowing in anguish? Who is full of sorrow?

Who has conflicts? Who has complaints?

Who has bruises and can't remember where they came from?

Who has bloodshot eyes?

You know who: those who stay up late finishing off the wine,

those who can't stop savoring spiced wines.

Look away from the enticing beauty of wine, the deep red hue;

ignore how it shimmers in the cup

and glides down your throat.

Eventually, when you least expect it, it strikes like a snake;

it stings like viper venom.

Your vision will blur, and you'll imagine strange things;

you will say crazy, hurtful things and regret it later." 

-Proverbs 23:29-33, VOICE

Have you ever drank too much and regretted something? Yeah, me too!

There are two things I'd like to bring your attention to from that passage:

1. "Who is full of sorrow?"

I've gone through a significant amount of pain in my young life. Was wine my comforter? Sometimes! But I wasn’t prone to pouring my sorrows into bottles of wine.

For someone who has an addiction, the pain of living with an addiction must be greater than the pain of living without one. Pain is the epicentre of any abuse, whether it be substance, alcohol, sex or pornography. If alcohol is someone’s only source of comfort, they have crossed a line. 

2. "…those who can't stop savouring spiced wines."

Can you stop, for real? Can you say, "No," to an offered drink? Do you volunteer to be a designated driver? Do you enjoy sex sober?

The Bible doesn't say, "If you can't stop savouring spiced wines, you need to accept the things you cannot change and head to a group support meeting once a week where you will rely on these 12 exact steps to find your way to healing because you have a permanent disease and you will never be able to drink alcohol ever again."

It says, "Look away." 👀

My husband is not your typical "recovered addict," he's an anomaly. He didn't work the steps, he still drinks alcohol in moderation, proclaims, and I agree, that he is totally and completely free. Healed. [Want to read more? Check out, “Is the Saying, ‘Once an Addict, Always an Addict' True?”]

I do not see substance abuse issues in him, even though he still battles bipolar disorder. His mental health has been a struggle that has not changed much since his years of addiction, yet, he was still able to find freedom. 

Disease or not, addiction or habit, it doesn't matter; getting drunk is very clearly a moral failing and "living like a pagan" will result in judgement. Blurred vision? You drank too much. Repeated drinking can lead to an addiction, but it doesn’t negate responsibility because it started in sin and weakness.

I want to be able to talk to you like anyone else because I don’t believe that people who struggle with managing emotions or even addictions are especially different. The way I am speaking to you is the same way I would speak to myself, Leah, you made a huge mistake. Don’t be stupid, it’s time to change. It’s not too hard, stop being a wimp. (Actually, the way I’m speaking to you is much nicer, my inner voice would be very critical!)

The only way to counter sin is to suffer in the flesh as Jesus did.

It's going to be hard! You're going to face things you don't want to, and life is going to suck for a while. You might try to do good and fail as I did. Many times. Preaching to the choir, here. Not a stranger to moral failures and weakness.   

"Since Jesus went through everything you're going through and more, learn to think like him. Think of your sufferings as a weaning from that old sinful habit of always expecting to get your own way. Then you'll be able to live out your days free to pursue what God wants instead of being tyrannized by what you want. You've already put in your time in that God-ignorant way of life, partying night after night, a drunken and profligate life. Now it's time to be done with it for good." 

1 Peter 4:1-4, The Message

Bang-on💥, right?

The beauty of the gospel is the freedom that life following Jesus brings. I'm not writing this to give you a virtual slapity-slap. I mean, a little bit because we have to check ourselves, but more because I hate that anyone has to go through their suffering alone. 

I don't believe drinking alcohol is sinful. I do think relying on alcohol as our comforter, losing the ability to stop drinking, and getting drunk will result in judgement. Anything that divides us from God is not okay.

"The end of all things is near; therefore, be alert and sober-minded for prayer. Above all, maintain constant love for one another, since love covers a multitude of sins."

-1 Peter 4:7, CSB

Stay sober when you pray. Don't have a few too many drinks and cry your face off about your life to Jesus (or your friends, nobody likes that.) But if you do, oh man, God still loves you. He loves you so much that He will happily wipe your tears and past away if you make the difficult choice to give up what makes you feel safe to follow Him. 

Doing the right thing takes gumption. #braveface

If you skimmed this article because everything I write is ridiculously long, here's the shortlist. 

How much is too much alcohol?

• It's blurring your vision.

• You imagine strange things.

• You stay up late to drink.

• If you cannot turn down a drink, you've gone too far.

• You're full of sorrow and using it to feel better.

• Drinking until you pass out is a problem and leaves you vulnerable for perverts to attack you.

• If you get drunk with an acquaintance, they may be your unfaithful spouse's jealous lover, and they've planned to kill you (stay alert and of sober mind! 1 Peter 5:8)

• Don't start drinking before 9 am (really? That's the bar?!)

I'm not trying to make alcohol consumption a joke; I think we over-dramatize the alcohol conversation. The Bible says, "Don't get drunk," many, many times. If you're buzzing, that's called "kinda drunk." I'd say it's "kind bad," and maybe you should give that a pray. The Bible tells us a specific hour not to drink alcohol before and says not to stay up late drinking. How much more do we need to know? 

If you need an exact appropriate number of drinks you're allowed, talk to God. He may tell you to be like the Rechabites and have zero alcohol for all of your family's generations- forever (Jer. 35:6-7). He may tell you not to drink around cousin Jeffrey because he's got a problem, and he's weak in spirit (Romans 14:13-23). He may tell you to be like Jesus and partake in sharing the Passover cup (Matthew 26:27-29). 

What's right for one person isn't right for another. Like me? I sadly cannot wear green. It makes me look sick. But you? You look fantastic in green, you lucky duck.  

Common sense, dear Christians. That's all it is.

But how then do you know if your spouse is drinking more than their God-allotted amount? Hmm! Keep reading here. Want to know if excessive drinking is grounds for divorce? Try this post.

Leah Grey

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