What Kind of Abuse is it? Five Traits of a Narcissist

What Kind of Abuse is it? Five Traits of a Narcissist

While it is tempting to equate all kinds of abuse as pretty much the same, narcissistic abuse has a few characteristics outside the boundaries of emotional abuse.  Obviously narcissistic abusers are emotionally abusive, but the goals of a narcissist are significantly different from those of a person who is emotionally abusive.  Knowing the difference is helpful.  Narcissistic abuse requires a different approach to recovery, though the healing path from any kind of abuse is difficult.  

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My First Panic Attack and the Day My Husband Left

My First Panic Attack and the Day My Husband Left

Everything was getting blurry. 

This wasn’t supposed to happen. 

My chest was so heavy. it felt like someone was crushing my chest. It was as if the hand of the enemy was pushing me down. 

I remembered once I had read that if you put your arms up over your head it will help you breath better. I put my arms up as high as I could and went down on my knees. No, it wasn’t helping. I stood up, arms reaching high, maybe I was supposed to be standing? No, that didn’t work either. I sat down, maybe I was supposed to be sitting? It seemed to be getting worse. 

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The Day the Lord Set Me Free from My Marriage

The Day the Lord Set Me Free from My Marriage

Some might think that title is scandalous.  I know that my own fear of divorce kept me from escaping a narcissistic abuser for fourteen years.  Now, seventeen years out from that disaster, my regrets center around not leaving far earlier.  I lived in a lot of denial for years.  One has to cultivate denial in order to survive, much less stay, in a marriage that was as abusive as mine.  And just how abusive it was, did not fully dawn on me until I disclosed, ten years later, details of the torment to my counselor.  The look of horror and grief on her face showed me just how far from normal my first marriage had strayed.

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Want to Know What My Most Important Boundaries Are? Here's One!

Want to Know What My Most Important Boundaries Are? Here's One!

Have you ever broken a boundary- with yourself? 

Tell me if this sounds like you, 

“Okay... today, I’m going to be awesome! I’m going to wake up early, eat something healthier than cereal, do my hair real nice, exercise, be a successful human being and rock my life”. 

And then morning comes. And your bed feels so nice. The covers are warm, you bring out an arm from your nestled cove and the air is cold! Zip! Retreat! 

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Five Things I Want to Share about Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder

Five Things I Want to Share about Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder

When I was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), I was relieved that there was a name for my nightmare. Though, not all who have been through trauma and know the effects of it feel this way. My husband, who also suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder, was not as pleased as I to receive his diagnosis. My proactive nature read my “label” and determined to do the work for resolution. My husband, however, said he was fine and had more of an, “I won’t think about it and therefore it won’t affect me” approach.

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If I Were the Devil

If I Were the Devil
“We know [for a fact] that we are of God, and the whole world [around us] lies in the power of the evil one [opposing God and His precepts].”
-1 John 5:19 (AMP)
“Gone are the days when it was safe for kids to ride their bikes outside unsupervised and come home when the street lights turn on…. things were different back then.”

Have you heard anyone say that recently? I’ve heard it way too many times. Yes, things were different. Before the technological era and the media frenzy that have taken over the world, things were simpler. I can totally see it. But evil is the same as it was when it first met with mankind in the Garden of Eden as it says in the book of Genesis. Is Satan “gaining ground” on us? No. I would say he takes two steps forward and three steps back. We just happen to live in a “two steps forward” era. 

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Does Your Spouse Have a Porn Addiction or Just a Bad Habit? The Difference Matters!

Does Your Spouse Have a Porn Addiction or Just a Bad Habit? The Difference Matters!

Before anyone gets upset with me for being insensitive, let me preempt this post by saying I know how much it hurts to have your spouse “cheat on you” with porn. It’s beyond awful. It makes us feel like dirt. We can’t stop thinking about it. We unwillingly compare ourselves to their internet history, “Large chest and big butt?! But I have a TINY chest and NO derriere… He must not like me” or, if you’re a man it may go more like, “I don’t have abs! Obviously, she thinks I’m fat too. No wonder she’s looking at porn. She’s probably having an affair too”.

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My Loved One Has an Addiction, What Can I Do?

My Loved One Has an Addiction, What Can I Do?

This is a question I hear often but has a very complicated answer. While the definition of addiction is the same across the board and the behaviours for each type of addiction come out, in the same manner, the actual addiction itself does need to be treated differently. So I’m going to say, it depends on what your loved one is addicted to. 

I’m going to split this into the “big four” addictions. Some of these, I have up-close and personal experience with while others I do not, so if you’re the spouse of said addiction and you’re like, “Ummm, Leah, that’s whack advice!” I'm so sorry, that’s totally okay by me.

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No Need to be a Scaredy Cat! Faith Guide for Crisis Situations

No Need to be a Scaredy Cat! Faith Guide for Crisis Situations

I know I’m, “Preaching to the choir” when I say this but there’s nothing like addiction to bring a spirit of fear into your life. Whatever anxieties or insecurities may have been present before, that you were able to disguise, push through, convince yourself weren’t there, they all come back with addiction. They say addiction is a “family disease” and while I don’t believe in the disease aspect of it, I do believe it’s a family affair! 

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How to Faithfully Deal with Chronic Insecurity

How to Faithfully Deal with Chronic Insecurity

Whack! Strikes of pain shot through my butt as we slammed into yet another pothole. I moaned softly, strained my neck against the window and lifted my eyes to the flaking roof of the van. When would we get there? Or rather, the more pertinent question: when was I going to get there? Emotionally, physically… spiritually. I sighed and turned my head to watch the billows of dust surface in our erratic wake. 

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When We're Abandoned by Adam: A Story of Strength

When We're Abandoned by Adam: A Story of Strength

One of the things I admire most about women is our natural ability to nurture. When a friend is in need, we’re there to help. When someone is struggling we have an innate ability to encourage and build them up with our God-given intuition; Women are graceful, beautiful, loving creatures.

God lovingly created Eve to be Adam’s perfect helper. God presented Eve to Adam like a gift and in every way, she complimented his strengths and weaknesses. He was proud of what He had made for His son.

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Get the Fairytale Ending You Need to Succeed

Get the Fairytale Ending You Need to Succeed

Every young girl dreams her own fairytale. Though each story is different we do all want the same thing. It isn’t that we all dream of being saved by princes, that’s not the case at all. What we really dream of is being the confident heroine of our story, admired for our inner strength, beauty and wisdom. We want to love and be loved. 

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How to Support a Friend Whose Loved One is an Addict

How to Support a Friend Whose Loved One is an Addict

What's My Family Member's Life Like?

The best way to describe how it feels to have a loved one battling addiction is: isolating. 

It’s lonely. 

It’s hard to relate to other people because your life is chaotic and spinning around an unhealthy, unpredictable person. It’s hard to make commitments, like volunteering for church activities or children’s school trips, because you’re overwhelmed and never know what will happen from day to day. Going to work to deal with a whole other set of problems can be a relief if you get yourself motivated to go but some days, it’s too much to handle. 

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Five Ways to Support a Loved One with an Addiction Without Losing Yourself

Five Ways to Support a Loved One with an Addiction Without Losing Yourself

I grew up in a family with eight kids, all younger than myself, and although I never thought life would be perfect, I never dreamed that one of us would battle addiction. So when my little brother became addicted to opiates after the sudden death of one of our siblings, it was devastating to our family.

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