Four Boundaries You Need to Make Your Home a Safe Place

The atmosphere of our home is important. In fact, I would encourage any woman reading this to make their home's atmosphere one of their steadfast boundaries and top priorities. The goalpost on personal boundaries can move as we figure out what’s reasonable and what's not or what worked and what didn’t. As far as the home is concerned, it’s best served as a place of refuge. If we have children, this is even more important!

I would bet that if you have a loved one actively addicted to something, you can feel the difference when they’re in the room. I’m sorry to say it, but that’s the enemy at work and entering your home through sin. You wouldn’t knowingly invite the devil in, so why allow him a seat at your table?

Can You See the True Value of a Mother?

Mother’s day is coming.

Though I try to keep my expectations low, I cannot help but hope that this year will be the year I'm treated like the princess I’d like to be. The queen of the nest. The cherry on top of the ice cream sundae. In reality, mothers are more of a well-oiled factory than we are the shining star of the show. The world says the state of our product determines our efficiency- never mind, all our employees are treated like gold, given bonuses on holidays and enjoy their family Christmas party each year. No, the product (children!), which we have no control over, determines our value.

Has Your Parent Failed You? This Guy Never Will

Things change and are different than they seem. We lived a life that was not what people thought it was. We weren’t who people saw when they looked at us, although to them, we were. However, when we walked through the doors of the rehab hospitals, our looks matched where we were. We mimicked the responses and the actions of those who sat in the circle around us. Some new, some seasoned and we were both at different times. Each time we entered, we were hardened a little more. We appeared to have it all- nice clothes, nice cars, a nice house, but not a home and not a mother.

"But, what if they don't?". One Relationship Survival Skill You Have to Have if Your Loved One Doesn't Find Healing

In my marriage, there have been many ups and downs. I'd love to say there have been more ups than downs but I feel like that may be a lie. But it's not like I have been feeling bad for all these years!

Do you know what I mean?

In addiction circles, they call this, “practicing detachment” which essentially means we aren’t allowing the decisions and actions of others to affect our mood, thoughts and feelings.

I teach a lesson on detachment in my eCourse on how to make good, Godly boundaries. The course, 'UnBound Me', is currently being updated and will be relaunched later in 2018 but today, I’d like to talk more in-depth about detachment.

The One Act Of Faith That Can Change Everything

Recently, I asked my husband if he knew why I stayed with him. We had been talking about “what he put me through” (he was saying he knew it had been a lot) and it struck me, I tell people all the time why I stayed- but had I ever told him?

He thought for a moment and then for a good two minutes he went on about all of the reasons that he believed I stayed but it all boiled down to two sentiments:

I loved him
I saw him as more than “an addict”

How to Battle Satan from the Bedroom

Valentine's Day is approaching and with it can come a host of emotions and responses, depending on one’s love life.

There’s the, “I LOVE Valentine’s Day!” women who always seem to get chocolates, flowers and dates.

There’s the, “I HATE Valentine’s Day” women who never get chocolates, flowers or dates.

There’s the neutral response, “It’s just another day” women who may have gotten chocolates, flowers or dates in the past, and may or may not this year, but it’s really not their thing.

And then, there’s the rest of us.

Being Patient With God Through a Loved One's Addiction

“Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do...” -Luke 23:34 (KJV)

If you’ve ever had to suffer the wrath of the anger of an addict, you know the significance of this verse.

There are times that we take the brunt of the anger. We are the punching bag. Verbally beaten down, ridiculed and mocked. We become the enemy of the one we love.

And for what? Because we refused to give up on them? Refused to let them destroy themselves in their sinful squalor?

Hygge, Minimalism and the Art of Letting Go

For quite a few years now, I have been learning more and more about minimalism. I’ll preempt this by saying that I’m not a true minimalist by any means however I’m also not a huge consumer and have no problem getting rid of what I, or my family, doesn’t need.

My journey of “letting go” began with clothing long before minimalism was a “thing”.

New Day, New Year, New You!

"Oh Lord, I trust you. I am believing you're going to make a way in my situation and provide for my needs. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!"

Two days later...

"Lord, I really don't know how you're going to do this. He is never going to change. I am broke! I mean, broke- broke. I am going to be left with nothing but debt and a husband who is probably cheating on me. Lord, will you tell me if he is cheating? Lord, if he has cheated on me- smite him! I pray he feels overwhelmed with guilt. And gets herpes. Just don't let me get it- thanks, God".

3 Ways Secretly Watching Porn Hurts Your Wife

If you’re watching pornography behind your wife, fiancee or girlfriend’s back because it would hurt her to know what you’re doing- it’s a problem.

Blame it on growing up modestly (ahem, Mennonite country), I could go on for days about my issues with our overly-sexualized culture and how it impacts our relationships, children and self-esteem, but I won’t go into it here. What matters is the effect pornography has on some wives. If porn has negatively impacted your relationship, I’ve got some suggestions to "fix" it.

Letting Go of the Dream of Partnership in a Marriage Affected by Addiction

I had a picture in my mind of what I wanted my marriage to look like. I didn’t realize this of course when I was married but rather, down the road when my husband was not meeting my undisclosed requirements for a happy marriage.

Things like sit-down family dinners, who would read the bedtime stories and what movies were appropriate for children were foundational points I assumed everyone felt the same way about. Was that not the typical "American Dream"? Happy, wholesome, "Leave It to Beaver", family-oriented togetherness? I couldn't fathom that seemingly-simple lifestyle would not be as important for someone else as it was for me.

Letter to the Wife of a Sex Addict

Dear wife of the sex addict,

Good morning, sweet lady. What’s good about it, though, right? Your whole world has been shaken, and you’re not even sure you can force yourself to put one foot in front of the other, much less agree that it’s a “good” morning. I know.

Betrayal takes everything.

Everything you once knew and everything you once treasured is just... gone. All that was sure is no longer sure and you don’t understand. You feel lost... broken... lonely.