There's no secret that living with an addicted loved one is HARD! There are a thousand complications and nuances that make these relationships different from those we experience with the healthy and free people we love.
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Two very different types of marital relationships need to be acknowledged when we're talking about alcohol; the first is a marriage that has not suffered the effects of addiction, the second has.
Before I met my husband, I had been in a few relationships. Ahem. None were like the one with my husband. For the purpose of this article, and so I don't confuse you, let's call them "typical" and "atypical" relationships.
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I dated my husband for almost 10 years before we married.
Well, on and off but still it was quite a long relationship. When we finally got married in 2010, l was over the moon excited like any new bride would be. But once we started living together I realized he had a few habits that rubbed me the wrong way (and l probably had habits that got to him too, but he never mentioned anything to me).
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While self-care can feel like a struggle, it doesn’t have to. With these seven practical tips, you can carve out moments throughout your day to fill yourself up and do the work God has called you to do by serving the people in your life who need and depend on you.
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Yes, that’s right. By the name of the title you already know what’s happening.
Back. To. Facebook.
“Why?” You ask? Or maybe it’s more like, “I told you so!” Well, that’s why! Because you told me so. You’re right!
If you’re reading this for the first time, let me fill you in.
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I have a vivid memory of my mother from my childhood. I think of it often. She's folding laundry in her bedroom, and I'm chattering on about something as she holds out a fitted sheet. We each take our respective corners, create a crease and bend them in neatly while I continue talking. In complete unison, we fold the sheet.
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According to Merriam Webster, a boundary is something that shows where an area ends and another area begins; a point or limit that indicates where two things become different.
Boundaries are then unofficial rules about what should not be done; limits that define acceptable behavior.
But when addiction takes root, boundaries become blurred, extended, trampled on, and unrecognizable. And the spouse of an addict can feel very disoriented and alone.
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Do you REALLY know the difference between prayerful and pushover?
If you’ve lived with an addict, you may have found yourself becoming the unofficial peacemaker. You learned how to manage tension and prevent tempers from flaring. You may push away your feelings or overlook wrong behaviours because your world revolves around keeping other people happy.
If you’re like I was, you probably didn’t see it in the beginning (or now!). But the "peacemaker" mentality is more than likely there.
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Picture yourself standing on the edge of a cliff of a tall mountain.
It's dark outside and the earth is quiet. You hear only a few crickets and the wind as it gently whistles through the trees. There is no one around, it's only you and God...
What would you do?
You would be still.
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